June 27, 2011

Attempted Murder: No Harm, No Foul


By COCHRAN, TOWN DRUNK

I've just spent the last twenty-four hours of my life in jail. It's no picnic, let me tell you. Jail is nothing like it's depicted on the Disney Channel, that's for sure.

Do you know what I was in there for? Attempted murder! What a crock of shit!

I've long held the contention that when it comes to attempted murder it should be no harm, no foul.

Now, I'm no psychopath. I don't think murder is right. If someone kills someone else, that person should pay for their crime.

But who really gets hurt in an attempted murder? There's obviously been no murder, otherwise it wouldn't only be attempted murder. Catch my drift?

Let's make one thing perfectly clear: I haven't committed any crime. Allegedly I tried to blow up my attorney, P. Wachter's, car using some small explosives. Allegedly. But even if that was the case, he escaped with only minor injuries to his ass.

Even if it had been me, and it wasn't, a night in jail is definitely payback for minor ass injuries, if you know what I mean.

Right now I'm out on bail, and thankfully I have one hell of a lawyer, so I should have my name cleared by the end of all these shenanigans.

I think we as a society should rethink our stance on attempted murder. We're beginning to go down quite a slippery slope when we start putting people behind bars for attempted crimes.