January 26, 2011

Bobby D Shot While Leaving Bathroom


While leaving the Apartment 3 bathroom late Thurday evening, Rapper Bobby D. was struck in the buttocks with a BB, shot from an unidentified shooter. He had just finished urinating.

Mr. D. was rushed to McCaskey General hospital where he remains in pretty-good condition. Detective Johnny McNutt of the Lavina Avenue Police Department said there are no suspects as of press time.

"There are no other rappers in Apartment 3," said Mr. McNutt. "Otherwise, it would be a fairly cut and dry case. Sometimes this detective job is harder than it sounds."

Witnesses heard two or three shots, according to most accounts, but only one BB made contact with Mr. D.'s ass. It managed to imbed itself into his skin.

An operation was performed by Celebrity Doctor Roger Chakravorti to remove the BB.

"The BB was removed safely from Bobby D.," Dr. Chakravorti assured the press. "Barring unforseen events, he will recover swiftly and fully, though he may never grow hair on that part of his ass again."

While Mr. D.'s brush with death may have worried his fans, his business manager, B.J. Johnson, promises that they have nothing at all to worry about.

"Bobby D. has a backlog of seventeen albums for just such an occasion," Mr. Johnson said. "Business-wise, death wouldn't have slowed his career down one bit. You just can't buy that kind of publicity."

Mr. D. is expected to be released from the hospital on Tuesday. His album chronicling the ordeal will be released on Thursday.