March 24, 2011

I'll Totally Get You Back If You Cover Me For Rent This Month

Dude, it looks like I might be a little short on rent this month. I've just gotten off the phone with my financial adviser and gone over all of my assets, and from the looks of things, I definitely won't make it.

How short am I? All of it.

But if you can cover me for it this month, I'll totally get you back. Even some extra if you need it, like interest or something. Or I can pay your rent for you next month. Whatever works for you.

What happened was, I just bought my plane ticket to Paris for my trip there this summer and I didn't even think about the fact that rent was due so soon. I'm so bad with dates.

And I had a bunch of supplies that I needed for this project I'm working on. It's an avant-interpretive-dance painting that's going to knock your socks off. 

I also just picked up that vial of wicked-good LSD, which you'll agree was totally worth it. It's super high quality, and it was for such a good price that I couldn't afford NOT to buy it. Wouldn't you agree? 

Then with whatever money I had leftover, I was going to pay rent, but then I remembered that I had to eat, so I went grocery shopping. Do you want some of this Roquefort I picked up? It goes perfect with the Bordeaux I've been drinking lately. If Roquefort isn't your thing, I also have this fabulous Brie.

Anyway, so once I got food, I'm left with nothing, dude. Except for what I'm saving because I'm picking up some weed next week. So if you could just cover me this once, I will totally get you back. I can't live out on the street again.