April 12, 2011

Barth's Swingers Early Odds-On Favorite to Win World Series


The Sacramento Swingers, a Create-A-Team addition to the National League West Division in banker Ryan Barth's recently begun season ofMLB 2007 on PlayStation 2, are heavy favorites to win their 12th consecutive World Series Championship.

After only one day, the Swingers have posted a 10-0 record and outscored their opponents 211-42.

"Every other team in the entire National League is completely over-matched," said Mr. Barth. "I'm so fucking awesome."

Mr. Barth was not just speaking of his video game prowess, but also of his digital self, who currently has a .746 batting average, 22 home runs and 32 RBI playing mostly third base, along with a 2-0 record as a starting pitcher, with both wins also being perfect games.

"[Barth] is crushing balls like I've never seen before," said town burnout The Dobbins, who has been present at every Swingers game so far. "At least not since he won the World Series last week."

The Swingers have what many are calling an unfair advantage, with a roster stocked from top to bottom with created players, all of whom have their stats and abilities artificially inflated. They also object to the fact that the game's difficulty level is set to "amateur."

Some critics are even going so far as calling for the Swingers statistics and championships to be stricken from the Apartment 3 record books.

"Lickety and Lankety Splits might be the best twin-brother, left-handed/right-handed combination in baseball," said Judge "Joe" Hank Joseph, a lifetime video-baseball fan.

"However, it's completely unrealistic that even one pitcher could throw seven different pitches with such command, let alone two on the same team."

Mr. Barth completely such allegations. "Of course it's realistic. It's happening right in front of him."