January 29, 2011

My Score on HotOrNot.com is Disappointingly Low


I'm no stranger to the World Wide Webs. In fact, I surf them more often than you probably think. The Information Super-highway is the next great step in global communication, and I want to be behind the wheel of my own car on that highway, surfing the webs.

Not to suggest that I'm some sort of expert, or that I'm on the cutting edge of technology, but I'm also not your typical fuddy-duddy who needs a three week course on how to use a mouse.

I've managed to stay fairly hip to all the fresh and innovative Interweb tools. I use e'mail on a weekly basis, and am now able to check it from almost any computer in the world (with the lone exception of mine!). I even got my Judd-Nelson-circa-Breakfast-Club Halloween costume off of the Ebay.

My latest foray into cyber-space society is a website called HotOrNot.com. It's a fabulous place where we can all gather and criticize each other's superficial qualities from behind the anonymity the World Webs provide.

When I first stumbled upon HotOrNot on one of my recent "surfing trips," I thought to myself, "This is what the Interways was invented for!" For a while, it became my favorite venue for judging other people, supplanting the front porch looking down on Lavina Avenue.

After a few weeks, I realized that the site also featured a way to install a picture of yourself and have other people download their judgment on you.

Well, I felt I had an obligation to get my picture on the HotOrNot Internet. Not only am I a genuine member of the Cyber-Space community now, as Apartment 3's longest-tenured and most-eligible bachelor, I felt it was my duty to find out where I stand with the ladies.

Following several hours and dozens of phone calls to technical support (seriously! Who runs the Interwide-webs?), I was able to get my picture on HotOrNot.

The results were less than impressive. On a scale of 1 to 10, my average score is standing at a paltry 2.2. That's right, Two Point Two!

I'm as stunned as you are. Now, I'll admit that the picture is a few years old at this point, so maybe people just aren't into the style I'm sporting in the photo, but to have a rating well below three... Something is terribly wrong here.

My mission now is to get that number up to where is belongs. I've spent the better part of the past week on the phone with the HotOrNot people trying to get permission to change my photo, but so far that's gotten me nowhere.

As a last resort, I'm reaching out to you, dear readers. Now, I'm not asking you to be dishonest with your vote, lest I be shunned in the World Web community, but if you could all just spend a minute of your time visiting HotOrNot and -- if you see fit -- bump my average up just a smidge, that would be grand.

If all else fails, I could abandon my hopes of becoming a respected member of HotOrNot. The next on my list is Friendster, which I hear is all the rage right now. Then, once my Friendster mastery is complete, it's on to conquer MySpace!

Interwebs, Call me Leader!