What's the Point of Getting a Pet That You Can't Eat Later?

By COCHRAN, TOWN DRUNK

There's been a lot of talk around the apartment about getting a pet. As you would expect, most of that talk has focused on getting either a cat or a dog.

I see the appeal. Cats are pretty relaxed, and dogs are friendly, if a bit slobbery.

I've known a lot of both in my time, mostly alley cats and junk-yard dogs, and for the most part, we've always gotten along.

So when I say that we should think about something outside the cat-dog paradigm, it's not coming from any ill feelings towards either, but from a strictly pragmatic perspective.

What I am saying is that, if we're going to invest in getting a pet for the apartment, shouldn't it be one that we can eat when we're done with it?

It's only practical. With the economy the way it is, there's no way to tell what the future is going to bring. There could very well come a time when food is scarce and we're going to be hungry.When that happens, having a dog or a cat will seem like a pretty stupid idea.

There are many options here. A lot of fish in the sea, so to speak, which would require a complicated and expensive aquarium system, so let's focus on land animals for the time being.

Pigs make fabulous pets. They're friendly, will eat almost anything you put in front of them, and, really, it all comes down to a single word for me: bacon.

A duck or a goose would be good, too. Those aren't as big, so we'd have to get a few. That's fine by me, as long as they don't go through my underwear box and eat my bottle-cap collection like the last goose did. Which was delicious, by the way.

Some people like rabbits, and even though I agree that they are totally cute and cuddly, sometimes they can be a tad too gamey for me. When I'm looking for something gamey, I'll just kill one of the deer that hang out in the yard and eat that.

Let's think outside of the box if we're going to get a pet. We should see a pet as not just companionship, but as an investment in our future.

These are not typical times, and a cat or dog will just not do. Edible pets are not just for hobos any more.