Kate Middleton Gives Birth to Minotaur

LONDON — After months of breathless anticipation, Kate Middleton has finally given birth to the child that is the heir to the British throne, and sources have confirmed that the child is a male minotaur. 

The Duchess of Cambridge was rushed to the private Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital, next to Paddington Station in London, very early this morning. She was in labor for two-and-a-half hours, according to hospital sources, and both her and her baby minotaur are fully healthy and in high spirits. 

Minotaurs are half bull, half man, and by adulthood the child will have horns over two feet long sprouting from his head. 

The royal couple has not yet revealed a name for the future minotaur king of England.