February 27, 2017

Televised Circle-Jerk Goes Awry

LOS ANGELES — One of the country’s largest and most respected televised circle-jerks went amiss Sunday night when the final jerk-off was given to the wrong jerkee. 

The final jerk-off of the night is widely considered the most important and prestigious of all the jerk-offs given at the event.

Event organizers are still scrambling to find out what went wrong, as protocols and safeguards were either not in place, or not sufficient to prevent a jerk-off gone wrong.