November 17, 2020

Trump: No Concession Until Participation Trophy Received

Following a decisive defeat in the recent U.S. presidential election, golf course manager Donald Trump, currently serving as president, has so far refused to concede the loss in public. He has, however, recently hinted that he could offer a concession under certain conditions.

"I believe absolutely that I should get a trophy, at the very least," Trump said at an impromptu news conference Tuesday afternoon. "Or a plaque, something very nice. Not cheap. I finished very strongly in the election. Second place. Or, in my opinion, first."

Mr. Trump also believes that his 2020 electoral map should be commemorated in some form. "I won a tremendous amount of the electoral college," he said. "I got 232 of them. Some people are saying that's more than anybody's ever had before. So, we can turn that map into a poster, or maybe a flag, a beautiful flag."

"I just don't see how I can win 232 electoral colleges, and still lose the election," Trump continued. "If I get a trophy, or maybe even a medal, I could be happy with it."