Biden Announces Funeral
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden announced his own funeral in a solemn Oval Office address Wednesday evening, thanking the nation for its support during his long political career and expressing pride in his lifetime of service that he plans to continue up until his burial this Saturday.
📰 Other News
J.D. Vance Googles ‘Donald Trump Net Worth’ Again
ALEXANDRIA, VA — In an attempt to bolster his spirits after a week in which he struggled to connect with the American public, Republican Vice Presidential hopeful J.D. Vance quickly Googled “Donald Trump Net Worth” before embarking on another grueling day of campaign appearances.
Nation Just Going To Go With ‘This Shouldn’t Have Happened’
BUTLER, PA — Following the attempted assassination of golf course manager Donald Trump that caps nearly a decade of constant political violence and chaos, a disoriented and conflicted nation has decided to just go with, “this shouldn’t have happened.”