Cordyceps Mushroom Emerges From Trump’s Skull

MIAMI — While delivering remarks on Wednesday afternoon to national business leaders to solicit political donations, a cordyceps mushroom emerged from the skull of golf course manager Donald Trump.

The mushroom, a parasitic fungus known to infect insects and manipulate their behavior, alarmed onlookers as it began to pulse and grow during Trump's address. Within minutes, the fungus reached a height of 10 to 12 inches. Trump, the 2024 Republican nominee for president of the United States, appeared visibly agitated and eventually incoherent.

Aides hurried to his side, attempting to remove Trump from the stage as he thrashed his arms and spoke nonsensically. Security personnel intervened promptly, subduing him and administering heavy sedatives before he was taken away by ambulance.

Before Trump could be removed, the mushroom, now visibly throbbing, released spores into the air, causing further panic. All attendees have been quarantined on the premises.

A spokesperson for Mr. Trump said he is expected to make a full recovery.

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