RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Allow Cocooned Victims To Fully Liquify Before Consuming

WASHINGTON — Highlighting the potential for health risks and negative metabolic consequences, HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. urged all Americans to allow their victims encased in silk-like cocoons to completely liquify before consuming the life-giving nutrients inside.

“The cocooning phase is about more than just preservation,” Kennedy said at a White House press conference. “It’s an external digestion process vital to breaking down soft tissues into drinkable nourishment.”

Kennedy stressed to the nation that it’s a misconception that cocooned victims are no longer alive while trapped inside the large, silky sacks molded around their victims’ body.

“Just because your envenomated prey has been subdued and confined within a digestive pouch hanging from the ceiling in your garage doesn’t mean that they’ve expired,” Kennedy said. “That’s why it’s so important to administer enzymes at the proper intervals. Immobilizing [victims] and confining them in an air-tight environment just isn’t enough.”

Kennedy concluded the press conference by emphasizing that once cocooned victims have been fully consumed, the dried husks are still perfectly good, and instead of being discarded, should be left at drop-off kiosks coming soon to communities around the nation.