World Eager To Completely Forget 'Avatar' Sequel By End Of February

James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way of Water, a sequel to 2009’s Avatar, arrives in theaters on Friday, and movie fans around the world are eagerly looking forward to completely forgetting about it by the end of February, at the latest.

The first film pulled in nearly $3 billion in ticket sales, remains the highest-grossing movie of all time, and has been largely wiped from our cultural memory.

“It’s amazing that they’re even trying to make a sequel to a movie like Avatar,” said self-described movie lover Vivian Sackage of Pahrump, NV. “I don’t remember if I even saw the last one. I don’t think I know anyone that did.

“When did it come out? 2009? That’s like a thousand years ago.”

Widely expected to be a smash hit, The Way of Water is over three hours long, features cutting-edge motion-capture technology, and uses paradigm-shifting underwater filmmaking techniques — facts that will become increasingly irrelevant as the millions of people who make their way into theaters slowly forget every aspect of the movie in the weeks following its release.

“The first Avatar changed the world of cinema forever,” said movie expert Dickie Bloads. “I think. I don’t totally remember. There were some really tall blue people — I know that — and it was in 3-D, which I guess was a thing for a minute.”

“I expect the new one to really connect with audiences,” Mr. Bloads continued. “According to my notes, it’s a three-hour thrill ride that delivers what the audience wants.

“If I wrote that down, I must have seen it at a press screening or something and then forgotten about it.”